Monday, September 29, 2008
dont really noe wads going through my mind... its like juz the other day i had a dream of my father... den i wake up in tears and literally in tears.. is like a recap of the days which i felt was so dark... dat i felt so so very lonely.. its like going through a re-run of the saddest days dat i had in my whole life.. going through it again juz in a dream made it feel so real.. but in the dream i could only see him going through the turmoil and not even be able to help him.. it made me feel so very useless.. but in dis dream it was still different.. it also showed me of how he loved me so.. dat even during his last hours he was still remembering us and still loving us soo much.. although he didnt wan to leave us but he knew he had to.. and it was already his time.. i noe dat he had alot to say to us and more over to me.. not being there even at the last min to be able to hold his hand was definately the saddest thing i would regret till now.. it was the only moment when i realise dat he was always there for me when i was happy and sad... and now after he's left he is still wib me be it happy or sad... in dis dream it really made me feel how love can be so strong.. and i definately still wan to thank the Lord for giving me such a loving father as He is.. for providing me with love when my earthly father couldn't.. definately i still miss him o so dearly but i believe he is looking at me and still loving me.. all i wish was time to go back so dat i can tell him how much i love him so much also.. and how sorry i was to make him angry at so many different occasions.. all i have to say is:
"
Thank you Daddy, your love has covered me for so long, even when i was young as a child u have never failed to teach me about love through yur teachings or even yur scoldings. i noe i have made u mad so many times but u still gave in to me in the end. i Thank You for the love u gave to me when u noe dat u may not get back in the end but u still gave it anyways. u really show me how love can be so very strong. You will always be missed and loved in my heart always. and Daddy, Sorry and Thank You for your love."*love can be so ever strong for it will always be around u*
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9:19 PM
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